


I Stop Breathing when You Smile

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Get together fic, M/M, Mild Hurt/Extra Comfort, Podfic Welcome, Self Confidence Issues, smiling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15487539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: Ryan unwittingly falls in love with Steven's smile.





	I Stop Breathing when You Smile

**Author's Note:**

> so there's a pic on IG (that i can't find for the life of me, nor can i remember who posted it originally) where steven commented w/ something to the effect of 'oh no, i shouldn't have smiled!!!' bc his face looks silly in the pic! i happen to think it's adorable, but his comment sent me off on the train of thought--what if steven is self conscious of his smile? 
> 
> and of course, we've all seen ryan's grin which while hella endearing, is a helluva smile. he was probably self conscious of his grin for a while, too, right?
> 
> and so this happened. just pure indulgent styan fluff. styan is also my fave buzzfeed rarepair and the world needs more of it! 
> 
> anyway, big thanks to hannah for beta'ing as always! enjoy!

Ryan notices it. 

It’s hard not to. Plus, he’s pretty observant, despite whatever sort of jokes Shane might like to spout off. On top of it all, Steven is an open book, so spotting discomfort on him is like reading a billboard, or a blimp, or something. 

Just, Ryan notices, okay? And he gets it. He really, really does. 

So maybe that’s why he reaches out to help Steven, even though they’re only kind of friends. Even though they have a silly Twitter feud, even though their paths don’t cross all that often. 

Ryan reaches out. Because it feels like the right thing to do. 

 

 

He gets his chance only a few days after he sets his mind to helping. He walks into the bullpen on the second floor to find Niki flitting about with a camera. Andrew has an arm tossed around Steven’s shoulders as they pose for a picture. Andrew’s putting on an exaggeratedly plain expression, almost like his creepy-guy face, but less menacing. Steven has half a grin, so reserved it looks more like a grimace.

“Steven!” Niki shouts, admonishing. “C’mon, smile!”

“Andrew isn’t smiling!”

“Yeah, but that’s just how he is,” Niki retorts with a laugh. “You gotta smile!” 

Ryan watches as discontent flickers over Steven’s expression before being replaced with a bright and wide grin. Niki snaps a few shots before hurrying off elsewhere. Ryan keeps watching as Steven extricates himself from Andrew’s arm, and frowns to himself. 

Ryan bites his bottom lip. He’s got no idea how he’s going to help. But he recognizes that look on Steven’s face—Ryan himself used to wear it far too often. 

He doesn’t have a plan as he strides over to Steven, where he’s sitting and looking forlorn. Ryan bumps into his chair and sends him skidding a few inches, and Steven rounds on him with what can only be described as a pouty-glare. 

“Hey man,” Ryan says as he braces his hands on the back of Steven’s chair. His tone is lofty and friendly, easy. 

Steven eyes him warily. “Hey.”

“Wanna grab lunch?”

The anger immediately melts off Steven’s face to be replaced with confusion. “What?”

Ryan shrugs. “You. Me. Chipotle, maybe? I know it’s not gold-dusted caviar truffles or whatever it is you eat, but—?”

Steven’s laughing now, and Ryan can’t help but note how it lights up his face. “Okay, okay,” Steven says, and then he’s standing. “You’re buying, right?”

Ryan makes a show of sighing and rolling his eyes. “Guess it’s only fair.” He stands back as Steven gathers a couple things into his messenger bag: a notebook, his phone, a spare pair of headphones. Once Steven is set, Ryan motions for him to follow. “Don’t even  _ think _ of ordering some lobster burrito bowl or something, Lim. Just cuz it’s on my dime doesn’t mean you get to go hog wild.”

Steven laughs again and shoves at Ryan’s arm. “That’s not even a  _ thing _ , what the hell.” He grins at Ryan, and Ryan smiles back. 

 

 

It keeps happening.

Working at Buzzfeed means cameras are basically a constant. If someone isn’t asking to take your picture or trying to rope you into some video, it’s just not a normal day at the office. And now that Ryan is looking for it, he sees just how often people seek out Steven, and how often he shuts down at the prospect of being told to, “Smile!”

So, it sorta becomes a thing. A thing where Ryan sees Steven having his picture taken or a quick video done, where Ryan sees someone goading the almost-always-chipper Steven into smiling even wider for the camera. It becomes a thing where every time Ryan sees this, he has to  _ fix it _ . It’s kind of annoying, that do-gooder urge that burns in his chest when he watches Steven hurry away from a camera, looking conflicted. 

But it’s the right thing to do. Plus, getting to see Steven light up when Ryan’s inane little schemes work—

Well, that’s pretty great. 

 

Steven’s expression is already souring and Ryan is on it like a hawk. He comes up beside Steven and slings an arm over his shoulders, knowing full well it probably looks out of place to their coworkers. 

“Uh, Ryan?” Steven asks, already thoroughly distracted. 

“C’mon, lunchtime.” Ryan doesn’t actually know what time it is.

Steven doesn’t argue. 

 

One time, Ryan doesn’t see the picture itself get taken. He walks in on the aftermath: Andrew looking a little guilty, Steven huddled over by the coffee machine clearly trying to appear unaffected.

Despite Andrew’s clear attempts to warn him, Ryan walks over to Steven and socks him gently in the shoulder. “Sup.” 

Steven looks over and Ryan’s a little thrown to see his eyes are red. Maybe this isn’t about the whole smile thing. This could be worse, which Ryan is so not equipped to handle. 

“Wanna shoot some hoops in a bit? Blow off some steam?”

Steven stares at him and for a second, Ryan thinks he’ll turn him down. Ryan wouldn’t exactly blame him; even if he doesn’t know what happened, Steven doesn’t exactly look to be in a basketball mood. 

Ryan waits with bated breath—as does the rest of the office, far from subtle—until Steven nods with a tiny smile.

“Sure, okay.” 

 

It just keeps happening, and happening, and happening. Ryan somehow develops an uncanny knack for knowing when something has upset Steven and does his best to fix it when he can. It’s as if there’s a change in the air, like when seasons change, and it calls Ryan to wherever Steven is: usually the main office area, sometimes the Tasty kitchens, once or twice a meeting room or two. 

Ryan isn’t sure how he’s gotten so good at it, but he does know that every time he approaches Steven, the other man immediately starts to look happier. And that’s good enough for him. 

 

Ryan has one headphone in as he listens to a recap on the current true crime he’s researching when a hand lands on his shoulder and startles him. He jumps and bangs his knee against his desk, and turns, ready to give whoever it is—Shane, he assumes—an earful.

He stops cold when he realizes it’s Steven, standing and looking a pitiful mixture of hopeful and scared. “Uh,” Ryan starts. He turns and pauses the video before yanking out his other headphone. “What’s up?”

Steven visibly swallows. “I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch?”

Surprised, Ryan checks the time. Lo and behold, it’s just after noon. He looks at the video on his computer screen and his half-full page of notes. He really should do lunch in-office today; he should work while he eats to get this episode proposal finished. He really only goes to lunch with Steven when the guy needs to be cheered up after a photo mishap, after all.

He looks up in time to see some glee fading from Steven’s expression. 

“Sure,” Ryan says as he scrambles to stand. “You picking?” 

Steven shrugs. “There’s a bistro a couple blocks from here, it’s pretty good.” 

Again, Ryan’s thoughts flickers to his work that needs to be done. He shrugs it off—he’ll just work later tonight. “Sounds good. Lead the way.” He gestures for Steven to walk, but Steven only takes a few steps back before letting Ryan fall into step with him. 

They walk in silence for a while. They make it out of the office and a block away before Steven opens his mouth. 

“So, uh. I was wondering…”

Ryan looks over as they stop at a crosswalk. “Yeah?”

Steven’s blushing across the high arcs of his cheeks, and the tips of his ears are cherry red. It’s sort of endearing, Ryan notes absently, and he grins. Steven smiles shakily back before looking away. 

“What’s up, Steven?” Ryan says as they start to cross through the crowds of other LA-goers. “You can talk to me,” he says. They don’t always talk a lot when they go on these little outings, not about anything big. Recent sport games, maybe, or about their projects at work. Once or twice they’ve talked about families and plans outside work. Normal stuff.

Hell, Ryan would probably say they’re like,  _ real _ friends now. Crazy.

“I was just wondering,” Steven starts again. “If this, if this could be a date?” 

Ryan nearly swallows his tongue, and he counts it a very lucky thing that he manages not to spew some nonsense in response. Instead, he manages to squeak out, “a date?”

Steven nods rapidly, and Ryan idly notes that the other man is wearing his glasses. They slip further down his nose as he nods. “Yeah. Just.” 

Ryan watches Steven take a deep breath, as if steeling himself. 

“We’ve been going out a lot lately, and I’ve really enjoyed it. And, like, we’re friends now, I think.”

“We are,” Ryan interjects quickly.

Steven graces him with the smallest of smiles, one that’s overwhelmed by his nerves and growing blush. “But sometimes it feels like. Maybe there’s more to it than that?” Steven shrugs exaggeratedly. “I dunno, maybe I’m making something out of nothing.”

Ryan blinks.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Steven adds, mostly to himself. He continues, louder. “It just feels like—like some of those other times were dates, too. And you’ve been really nice lately, like, weirdly nice. But I like it? I’m not saying you should be a, a dick or anything.” 

Steven’s rambling now. Ryan swallows nervously. “This can be a date,” he cuts across the rapidly mounting word vomit.

Steven stops short immediately, both in words and walking. People around them shoot them less-than-pleasant glares but Ryan doesn’t care. He stops walking too, and turns to face Steven. 

“Really?” Steven asks, a little breathless. 

“Uh, yeah. Really. I mean.” Ryan grins back feeling dazed, a little crazy. “Yeah this can be like, our first official date.”

Steven’s face lights up brighter than Ryan has ever seen. If he thought the grins and smiles he’d been privy to before were striking, those were  _ nothing  _ compared to this. Steven’s eyes sparkle and his blush seems to fade and take his nerves with it. His lips spread wide and his teeth shine through, and Ryan can feel himself mirroring the expression.

For a split second, Ryan wants to hide his smile, hide the way his lips pull back to expose his obnoxious rows of teeth. He can feel his lips twitch, aborted, the way they used to when he’d purse his mouth a certain way to make his teeth seem less… overwhelming. 

“I really love your smile,” Steven says suddenly. 

Ryan blinks. “Same. I mean, about yours.”

Steven’s eyes flutter momentarily and a frown tugs at his lips for a split second.

“I’m serious,” Ryan hurries to say. He’s reaching out before he can think better of it. “I really—seriously, you’ve got, like, an amazing smile.” 

Steven’s cheek heats under his palm. “Oh,” he says softly. Disbelief laces his tone. “Cool,” he says with a laugh.

Ryan giggles back. “Yeah, cool,” he agrees with a boisterous nod. “So, uh, lunch? Date? Us?”

Steven snorts and shakes with laughter. “Yeah, lunch. Date. Us.” He reaches up and plucks Ryan’s hand from his cheek but uses his touch to twine their fingers together instead. Steven looks on ahead as he leads the way to the bistro, and it’s a good thing he manages to pay attention because Ryan definitely can’t. He’s too entranced with Steven’s face; he realizes he’s been entranced for a while, but now he’s more conscious of it, and that makes it infinitely more distracting. 

When they settle into the two-person table at the bistro, Steven immediately pulls out his phone. 

“C’mere,” he says, gesturing for Ryan to lean in.

Ryan obeys and finds Steven’s front facing camera trained on them. “Is this going on your Instagram?” He asks in a mockingly suspicious tone.

“I’ll never tell,” Steven says seriously, though he’s given away by the curl of his mouth. “C’mon, first official couple selfie!”

Ryan laughs, and leans in closer so their cheeks nearly brush. He’s grinning that same way again, the way that’s taken years for him to accept. Steven’s grinning too, though. Just as bright and wide and his eyes are almost shut with how enormous his smile is. There’s the faint sound of a shutter clicking that seems to go on for ages. Steven takes way too many pictures, but Ryan lets him have his fill.

By the time their food is ready, Steven is deep in selecting the perfect one to go on his Instagram. 

And if Ryan steals the picture later to post on his own account, well. 

It just feels like the right thing to do. 


End file.
